Biscuit is in a Borderline relationship.
I have begun a new relationship. This has caught me somewhat by surprise. I have done my best to stay away from the object of my obsession for years.
I knew that this would be bad for me. I have been waking up, lying in bed and thinking about my new muse.
This is largely how new intense relationships often start. I have found that I am at work thinking about going home so we can be together. I’m not replying to texts from my friends because I am otherwise engaged. One night I stayed awake all night so we could spend time together. I even had to take a half day off work because I was too tired to function after all the fun.
I take great pleasure in taking time exploring the hidden territory, getting to know every feature and learn to recognise every subtle signal and message. It’s like we’re becoming one.
I warned Toast that this would happen, but he is still to blame as he introduced us. It started off as a bit of a three way relationship. At first we would all spend time together. One day he came home and found us sharing illicit special moments in the living room. I apologised but he was very disapproving.
Since then the relationship has become more of an obsession. I am learning as much as I can. Sometimes I forget to eat properly. I am constantly tired at work. I have made my hands sore from playing together too much. I spend too much time reading about my love on the internet and I relate every conversation back to the some aspect I have learned or experienced.
I believe that Toast brought the Xbox 360 and Borderlands into my life deliberately to hobble me so he can make leaps and bounds with all the new pretty girls he is meeting through his job whilst I am obsessed.
I basically have a demanding girlfriend without the sex.
It IS rather good though. I would write more but I have an urgent engagement with a very compelling mission to execute a fearsome gang leader. If I’ve not resurfaced in 3 days can someone please bring fluids?
…why is it I’m not married yet?