A date with a Serbian and a video camera
Toast
I had another internet date. This was with a girl who contacted me first. I’ve been sort of relying on that for the last few months. This is a bad tactic to settle into. Be pro-active!
Anyway this girl contacted me. She was tall, with dark hair and seemed interesting in an intelligent, faintly fighty way. So yes all my weaknesses in one.
I had been invited to a party on Wednesday for, well I couldn’t really work out what it was for but there was going to be complimentary drinks, a magician and the possibility of winning a cool video camera. Ideal for a date.
We met in the rain on the corner of Tottenham Court Road and Oxford Street. It was pleasingly dramatic. There was some confusion of exactly where we were meeting but after about half a dozen we had finally managed to find each other.
She was tall, and well she looked, well like her photos. She had a soft South African accent and you could tell her family originally were from Serbia by her fierce cheekbones.
We hopped on the tube down to South West London. The bar was sort of in the middle of no-where so we had a reasonable walk to get there.
This was really good, because it gave us loads of time to talk. Before we had arrived we had covered, quantum physics, feminism, philosophy and how we were determined to win a camera.
The bar was dark and we were quickly shuttled into the VIP area where they served us dim-sum and other lovely things. My luck, or skill was with my on the night too as I managed to win a video camera. I gave it to the girl. She was impressed.
Then I won another video camera, which also impressed the girl. I kept this one. The magic man turned up and did some really, really good magic and we drank more booze.
We got chatting to a chap to our left and while The Serbian was talking to him she started squeezing my leg. I raised an eyebrow to no-one in particular.
Leg squeezing seems to be the sign that a girl likes you these days, and my assumption was right because when our new friend went to the loo she lunged at my and kissed me on the face with tongues.
Clearly the way to a woman’s heart is expensive consumer electronics.
For some reason I was feeling a little bit cocky. I think the combination of a good tie, winning stuff and VIP areas at got to my head. I turned to her and said.
“I like you, we are going to go out again.”
“I’d like that,” she replied.
So there you go, sometimes you just have to tell a girl how it’s going to be.
There was some more kissing, and a bit more on the bus before we said goodbye. I will see her again, I mean I’ve given her a name and everything.
Marriage percentage: 20%
Lessons learned:
Rubbish first dates are over. It’s all about the swish dates
Winning girls stuff does impress them
If a girl squeezes your knee, she has designs on you.
I believe this is the first blog post I have read that was written in Old English. I will definitely be following this tale as it continues. Might I suggest a single pointer.
Stick with being proactive. I tell my sons all the time, if you wait for them to pick you, you will likely end up with someone your not really happy with. If you pursue women who you find appealing, you may be disappointed in the the short term, but when you do “catch one” the long term results will likely be better.
Good luck on date number two.
Zero
I like the sound of this one. Even if she isn’t from the agency of fuckwittery. Careful not to set too impressive a date bar, unless you have an xbox on ice for date #2
I cracked and read one of your posts.
If I marry you, may I please have an iPhone 4?
Also, I’m impressed by your ability to internet date. My [sole] experience involved an awkward movie date where the boy questioned my ability to be ladylike.
I rather expect you to be doing naughty things with this one in two dates more. I like it.
Zero – Yes, I probably shouldn’t post while drunk. I think I’ll leave this up as a warning to myself.
Macheczzo – Consider that noted.
L.A. – iPhones are hard to get, because Apply are really stingy. Almost any other phone wouldn’t be a problem. I think the thing with Internet dates is you have to go on a few.
Wicked Shawn – We shall see if you are right, which reminds me I have to write up our second date.
I don’t think I could deal with another experience.
L.A.: hey, the red wings are winning!
Internet Boy: you’re talking about hockey…shouldn’t you be asking me how my day was or something?
Awk.
He sounds like a keeper.
He’s worth keeping about as much as I’d want to keep a piranha as a pet.
I think you are being men about what could be a perfectly charming fish.
But anyway shouldn’t you be asking me about how my day went?
Oh, he’s a clever toast! I’m leaving a piranha in your bed :P