The story so far – Biscuit
Having spent most of my grown-up life in relationships, the last last 7 months have been by far the most entertaining that I have ever spent single. This is mainly due to:
- Adopting a certain ‘devil may care’ attitude.
- Realising that crashing and burning is not as TERRIFYING as it seemed in my younger days (and at least makes for a good story).
- A penchant to gravitate toward the girls that your mother warned you about, especially if redhead, and especially if in possession of fine norks.
Now, being single and carefree is lovely an’ all but where I live it is very difficult to meet new people. Most of my friends have inconsiderately moved away shacked up, got married or had babies (or a combination of the above). All my favourite social locations in the nearest ‘going out’ town are overrun by the clique of the recent ex (AKA ‘Cupcake’) and as such I have excommunicated myself.
Thankfully I am a not unreasonable train ride from that Mecca of promise and allure that is LONDON. The plans are as follows:
- Get a job in LONDON.
- Move to LONDON
- Live up the bachelor lifestyle in LONDON (on the huge income I will no doubt be generating in the new job that I will just waltz into)
- Marry Alison Mosshart
- Meet someone that makes my tummy feel funny, impress her with my Twister skills, romance her and marry her… crucially before Toast manages to marry anyone.
- Gloat as Toast sings at my wedding (as per the conditions of the wager).
Admittedly, this plan is not without it’s flaws. Currently there is no one who comes close to fulfilling plan component 5. As such I have embarked upon an quest to date new girls. LOTS. This is rather new territory for me (due to mostly having girlfriends over the years) so I am having to work out the dating rules on the fly.
So far I have discovered that pub games of Jenga are an excellent way of gauging manual dexterity, competitive streaks and grace in victory or defeat. I have also discovered that no matter how fit I am ice skating HURTS and makes me walk funny for a couple of days.