Fat. Naked. Dangerous.
(Note: Credit due to Gilbert Musings for assembling an EXCELLENT collection of Anti-Valentines Day cards)
At this point I should probably address the elephant in the corner: Valentine’s day.
Valentine’s day can be challenging for people in established relationship but it’s a fairly straight-forward affair at least: you get a present and a card (unless you have an express contractual agreement that she DEFINITELY thinks V. day is rubbish and does not want to subscribe the the shallow capitalist peddled concept of ‘romance’).
Last year I had a Real Proper Girlfriend (a pretty serious one at that) so I followed the established routine, including making a card (as I hate lining the pockets of the likes of Clinton’s Cards on a ‘holiday’ that their industry foisted upon us).
It’s also straight-forward if you are 100% NOT in a relationship of any kind, don’t have romantic designs on anyone and are not fending off unwanted attention.
For everyone else it’s a little more tricky though.
This year I am grateful. I am not sufficiently romantically entangled with anyone to require, or even suggest, the presentation of a VD gift. I have a second date booked with Indy… but anyone who sends a VD card/gift/pony after one date is a bit of a Mental and should be avoided.
This year I want you to consider those less fortunate than yourself: those in the extensive grey area where giving, or not giving, a token of affection on the 14th could be make or break. There are no hard or fast rules for this but to further complicate things, the magnitude and nature of the gift is significant.
For those who may be faced with this dilemma, the only scrap of wisdom that I can offer you is to do something creative. That way you can’t be judged on the monetary value because you have MADE the thing yourself. It’s emotionally significant but only as significant as as the other person interprets it to be and it’s unique. It can also be slightly tongue in cheek in a ‘VD is rubbish but here’s a cheeky gift anwyay’ way.
I think the mixtape is vastly underrated as a gift (but maybe that’s why I’m single).
Of course, if you’ve got no creative skills or imagination you’re pretty f***ed either way!