Baffled by woman #1.1
I am my own worst enemy.
I KNOW what I should do post break up. I am just rubbish at doing it. I decided to totally cut the ex (‘Cupcake’) out of my life when we broke up. It sort of worked. However the allure of the forbidden is so strong that I found I hankered after contact just because I was not allowed. I’m terribly bad with things I’m not allowed.
After a long period of time I have settled on polite replies to the occasional texts I get. I find this messes with my head the least.
In retrospect, my relationship with Cupcake reminds me of some stand up material from a comic I now can’t identify: “I’ve just split up with my girlfriend. We were into different things. I was into life… she was into sucking it out of me”.
I would like to echo Toast’s call for some reliable method of mental-girl detection. This should be a field of serious scientific endeavour as the potential benefits to mankind are mammoth.
It is a total mystery to me how some girls can just get under your skin. I really can’t put my finger on it.
…although… it’s just possible it might be the norks.
So, for the future I have resolved the following:
- Date girls. PROPERLY actually date them, several times. This will give me many chances to work out if they show any warning signs.
- Avoid getting all doe eyed. This behaviour is for deer, female deer. It also makes a proper evaluation difficult.
- Don’t get drawn into sexy texts with an ex just because I am feeling frisky, and because I want to touch her norks again. Think of football or some kind of pyogenic granuloma instead.
- Don’t look at pictures of a pyogenic granuloma just after eating a very large meal.
- Try to make my lists of resolutions about a coherent topic and not just the last thing I saw on the interwebz.