Home > History > Baffled by woman #1.1

Baffled by woman #1.1


I am my own worst enemy.

I KNOW what I should do post break up. I am just rubbish at doing it. I decided to totally cut the ex (‘Cupcake’) out of my life when we broke up. It sort of worked. However the allure of the forbidden is so strong that I found I hankered after contact just because I was not allowed. I’m terribly bad with things I’m not allowed.

After a long period of time I have settled on polite replies to the occasional texts I get. I find this messes with my head the least.

In retrospect, my relationship with Cupcake reminds me of some stand up material from a comic I now can’t identify: “I’ve just split up with my girlfriend. We were into different things. I was into life… she was into sucking it out of me”.

I would like to echo Toast’s call for some reliable method of mental-girl detection. This should be a field of serious scientific endeavour as the potential benefits to mankind are mammoth.

It is a total mystery to me how some girls can just get under your skin. I really can’t put my finger on it.

…although… it’s just possible it might be the norks.

So, for the future I have resolved the following:

  1. Date girls. PROPERLY actually date them, several times. This will give me many chances to work out if they show any warning signs.
  2. Avoid getting all doe eyed. This behaviour is for deer, female deer. It also makes a proper evaluation difficult.
  3. Don’t get drawn into sexy texts with an ex just because I am feeling frisky, and because I want to touch her norks again. Think of football or some kind of pyogenic granuloma instead.
  4. Don’t look at pictures of a pyogenic granuloma just after eating a very large meal.
  5. Try to make my lists of resolutions about a coherent topic and not just the last thing I saw on the interwebz.
  1. February 16, 2010 at 12:39 am

    Breaking up with an ex is difficult, even if she made you miserable. I’ve been there. It gets better, I promise. Here’s how I dealt with it, http://lifeofpowers.wordpress.com/2010/02/09/the-theory-of-non-resistance/.

    • February 16, 2010 at 8:40 pm

      Hehe, I’m not sure that discussing swollen testicles with my dad is a productive way forwards!

  2. February 18, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    In my defense, I like Grey’s Anatomy because it hypnotizes me into believing I’ll have a thrilling life of sex and drinking after med school, instead of law suits and long hours. Don’t knock it til you try it.

    You men, also, suck life out of us. The best (read: worst) part is that we are sometimes better at the post-breakup protocol– so we don’t contact you, and we never know (but always wonder) why you left.

    • February 19, 2010 at 8:41 am

      I think that I have been a bit rubbish post break-up this time. We have probably been as bad as each other, although for different reasons. However, I think all the recent shenanigans has finally put an end to all the nonsense. I genuinely don’t feel bothered about contact any more.

      …although Dragonforce (my housemate) says I make similar proclamations every 6 weeks or so.

      Hopefully it is done with… I have a bet to win and don’t want such a thing affecting my odds!

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