Home > Dating Science > Dating Science – The three speeds of male dating

Dating Science – The three speeds of male dating

Toast

Yes it’s been quiet of late. The reason being that I haven’t seen the Fez because of work and currently I don’t really want to see anyone else.

I know this is a dangerous tactic, but I am a fool, it’s a defining characteristic.

Anyway. Biscuit and I were talking about girls and things and we realised that men have three speeds or modes when it comes to dating.

1) I Wouldn’t touch you with someones else’s naughty bits.
2) Don’t want to marry you, but would touch you with my wink-wonk when drunk.
3) MARRY ME.

Girls have an extra stage 1.5) I don’t fancy you but I’ll let you take me out for lots of meals and buy me presents. Then when I meet someone I fancy I’ll say ‘lets just be friends… so I can tell you in excruciating detail what a shit they are while still dating them.’

Not that I’m bitter.

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  1. Woo
    March 11, 2010 at 8:44 am

    Hello! I think I must have actually gone out with the only man with inbuilt stage 1.5, but then again, he had herpes and viewed himself as a dark-artistic-troubled sort.

    • March 11, 2010 at 9:07 am

      Is this the ‘Bad Egg’?

  2. March 11, 2010 at 11:55 am

    But of course. Still, at least I’ve found out his bald patch is growing at a rate of knots, which pleases me immensely.

    • March 11, 2010 at 11:57 am

      It’s important to take pleasure in the little things.

  3. March 12, 2010 at 3:37 am

    Ok, first off, I almost spit my tea all over my keyboard upon reading “wink wonk”. This is definitely my new fave term!

    Second, I can think of a few other dating speeds, 1 such being “Oh hell, it’s late and we can turn the lights out, as long as I leave before daylight you will do” (this one does not require drunken state, merely physical need and poor judgement)

    It’s rather sweet that you are only interested in the Fez. It also makes you appear to be a bit, well, nevermind. It’s sweet. :)

    • March 12, 2010 at 7:27 am

      Shawn, I’m a one girl at a time kind of guy, that’s all. Not just because I always forget which conversations I’ve had with which girl.

    • March 15, 2010 at 6:45 pm

      Wicked Shawn :

      “Oh hell, it’s late and we can turn the lights out, as long as I leave before daylight you will do”

      Now THIS one I like!

  4. March 13, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    This is why our former Vice-presidential hopeful writes notes on her hand ;)

  5. April 22, 2010 at 11:47 am

    I think I have dated a few 2.5’s in that we use their ‘wink wonk'(love that term) for our mutual pleasure even if neither of us was drunk at the time.
    Neither of us wants to marry the other — God forbid.

    Is that hair splitting?

    Do I sense a 2.75 comment soon? LOL

  6. April 28, 2010 at 6:32 am

    Kim – This is why science is complicated.

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