Home > Adventures in Dating > Strange messages on the Internet

Strange messages on the Internet


I am still on a few dating websites. Yeah, a few. The dating websites know I’m seeing other webpages, it’s nothing serious. I’m just keeping it casual at the moment. You know?

Anyway, one of these websites, one that wasn’t very successful before, pinged me with a message on Friday morning. This is what happened (lightly edited to remove a couple of details).

HER – ‘What a nice picture. I’m quite into staircases, and the chap in front didn’t spoil things too much either.  Hello!’ (One of the pictures has some stairs in the background)

TOAST – ‘Why thank you – yes I agree it is a fine stair.  Isn’t it a lovely day? What are your plans? It’s pay day so I’m going to buy at least one thing I can’t really afford.’

HER – ‘What a superb idea. Choose wisely. It is a lovely day. Sadly I won’t be frolicking in the sun. I’m going to get my act together (any minute now … any minute … /now/ …) and get to the office.’

<Toast checks her profile and reads that she is in a relationship but considers it ‘open’ . Toast says ‘blimey’ a few times.>

TOAST – ‘Sorry to hear about your lack of frolics, perhaps there will be time for them at the weekend.’

HER – ‘Quite possibly. For the first time in ages, I have a weekend that won’t be spent entirely either working or in another city or both. Just waiting for the rain to start as soon as it realizes that. D’you have a frolicsome weekend planned?’

TOAST – ‘Nothing planned either. I have some work stuff to do and I need to trim a hedge but that’s it.’

HER – ‘How about lunch in Nottingham on Sunday with some random woman from teh internets?’

TOAST -‘ Sadly I have to be near a computer at lunch time this weekend – I have to report on an event. Yes I know what a pain. It means I have to stay in <TOWN NAME REMOVED>’

HER ‘I would come and see you but, alas, I don’t think I can justify quite that much time out (trains seem to take at least 90 mins each way with a change in <TOWN NAME REMOVED>). Another time, perhaps! :)’

How bizarre. This evolved over the course of about an hour.

  1. March 29, 2010 at 6:43 am

    [alan partridge]”SEX PEOPLE!“, “No thanks, I don’t want to be past of your sex festival”[/alan partridge]

  2. March 29, 2010 at 11:58 am

    You boys work too much!! Seriously, take a break and date a little. ;)

    • March 30, 2010 at 10:48 pm

      I’m ON it! Date tomorrow. I have some serious work to do to catch up with Toast.

  3. March 30, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    *happy dance* Good times! Easy on the hijinks. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Oh, wait…I should totally revise that, do no more than 2/3 of what I would do and you should probably only do that with 1/2 the gusto and 1/3 the liquor. Yes, that should work much better. ;)

    • March 30, 2010 at 11:07 pm

      *has a minor seizure trying to work out the maths*
      I’ve already documented the alcohol rules for myself. They are quite prohibitive. this is in the interest of EVERYONE’S safety.

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