Home > Adventures in Dating > Date report: Champagne and DIY

Date report: Champagne and DIY


Tuesday was a very busy day. I managed to get my work stuff out-of-the-way pretty early on which definitely helped. I had to interview a famously prickly celebrity in Soho, I was worried he would be a nightmare but he turned out to be an utter darling.

The interview went well and I was able to skip off across Soho, gift bag in hand, to meet up with some friends for lunch

Lunch was a few gin and tonics. Followed by some carefully chosen tapas (avoiding anything with Garlic) and a dash of wine to help it down. I was feeling a little bit drunk at this point.

I needed to sober up but I also needed some champagne. I thought it would be a good house-warming gift for the Fez, so I ambled over to the best wine merchant in London for some help.

The moment I arrived a glass of vintage rosé champagne was pressed into my hand. We spent a while talking about the Fez, what we might be eating and what I wanted the champagne to say.

The wine chap helped me pick out something that sent the right messages and I hopped into the tube over to Chez Fez.

The Fez was looking radiant and showed me around her new, very nice house and introduced me to her house mates. They seemed good eggs.

Then we set about making the sofa bed. I read the instructions while the Fez opened the champagne (which was excellent) and then we started making it.

There were a few set backs, including a bit where the Fez insisted we use the wrong set of screws. Trying to do up the wrong screws nearly cost me my thumbs (no seriously, they went black for a bit) but we managed it in the end thanks to regular champagne breaks.

Any task is easier with regular champagne breaks. It took us only about two and a half hours to make the sofa bed, I think a sober team could have done it in 20 minutes, but we were pleasantly sozzled and cackling away by the end so it was time well spent. With the sofa out the way we set about making the pie.

Tasks were handed  out and the entire house was engaged in frantic chopping so very rapidly the pie was safely tucked away into the oven leaving us to drink more wine.

I tried to kiss The Fez on the lips in celebration of the pie being finished but I got the cheek. This was not a great sign and I have to admit I thought I must have completely misread the situation up to this point. No one likes to go for the lips and get the cheek do they?

The pie however was excellent, we gobbled it down and then sat about drinking a bit more wine before retiring to the Fez’s room. It was getting to the time when I’d need to head over to my friend’s place to sleep (which is what I thought would happen) when the Fez said I should just stay. I asked her if she was sure and she insisted so I got ready for what I assumed would be an entirely platonic evening of slightly restless sleep.

Once in bed we talked for a bit and I decided to kiss her. This time she responded with vigor and things got decidedly fruity and then halted.

‘I’m not sure I want to sleep with you yet,’ said the Fez ‘it’s only our third date.’

I thought about this and decided to answer entirely honestly.

‘That’s fine. Of course I’d love to have sex with you right now, you are gorgeous,  but I understand if you want to wait. I like you’

‘I like you too’

‘Good. Look, I know this isn’t a think yet, but I’d quite like it to be a thing and because of that I’m not in a hurry for anything to happen.’

 She paused for a moment

‘It’s just that I find you a bit intimidating, almost scary.”

I laughed. I’d never been called that before.

‘Intimidating? How?’

‘Well you know what you want, you are so confident and you are really muscled.’

I laughed some more.

‘Thank you. That’s lovely of you to say but I’m really not that scary.’

We talked some more. There was a bit more kissing and then some more talking about things.

Then she looked at me carefully and said ‘I’m not scared of you anymore.’

Things got even more fruity.

Marriage percentage? Hard to say but devilishly high.

EDIT : Marriage percentage : 60%

  1. April 14, 2010 at 9:35 pm

    Zoiks Scoobs!!! You DAWG! I would offer a whole hearted congratulations but I must temper this with a reference to rule 6:

    “6. EVERY date must be blogged. No secret dates. No ‘we just went for a coffee’. Every single one has to be recorded. Also you have to provide a Marriage Percentage (M%), scored at the end of the date.”

    “devilishly high” is not a percentage! I did GCSE maths and they never mentioned “devilishly high” as a quantity of any kind! This is your second strike on this rule. 1 more and a forfeit must be forthcoming.

    …but well done on the bed (I mean ‘MAKING’ it… not on your performance ON it!). Must be something about that champagne that makes great things happen. ;)

  2. Ms. L
    April 20, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    Fact: the sight of a man fixing things actually causes vaginal lubrication.

  3. April 21, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    LOL…….this definitely depends on the man, Ms. L, I have seen some plumbers and such fix things, definitely not a vaginal lubricant. Just sayin.

  4. Ms. L
    April 21, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    True WS, I should have caveated that you can’t be paying them to do it.

  1. March 14, 2011 at 4:17 pm

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