Becoming Mr Tumnes
The Fez visited. It was a success. The cottage was approved of, even if she did say it was the most manly house she had ever seen and said that I lived like a 12-year-old boy with a wage and no mum. I think this was a compliment more than a criticism.
I took her out for a few meals at the good places in town. When we didn’t go out we cooked together and we even managed a couple of walks. I learned about the different times of day for cake. Apparently a sponge cake is for during the day and a cheese cake is for the evening. I also realised how nice she is to be around.
A previous GF used to make me really stressed the whole time and there was none of that. Time with the Fez is easy and pleasant. Also the Fez didn’t mind if I picked her up, she liked the fact I could lift her with one arm and move her as if she weighed nothing. The previous ex used to get really angry when I did that. It was weird.
The Fez also started calling me Mr Tumnes. Let’s not go into why, I’m sure there are less sexy pet names but I can’t think of them right now. So I aimed for Tom Cruise and ended up as a slightly creepy satyr who doesn’t wear trousers and hangs around with kids. Brilliant.