If you’ve read Scalene’s latest entry you would know that, assuming his readers didn’t tell him to bring a date, then he and I would be going head to head over the Fez’s single friends.
He appeared to have a headstart, as Dragonforce (DF) and I arrived at the pub at about 6, a good hour after he got there (this was due to having to ward off significant hangovers from the previous night’s Gin/Beer/Rum/Rock Band excesses).
After being greeted gleefully by Toast, Scalene and I were introduced. Between the smiles and the handshake we locked eyes with a mutual acknowledgement of each others’ significance. He’s a rather lovely chap but at no point did I forget that were in competition.
Edit: I should mention that, when we were discussing my taste in women, Scalene was particularly sporting in suggesting that I might like to meet a recently single lady friend of his who is known for her bright hair colours.
Although the Fez’s chums had turned up in force, the singletons were sadly absent. Eventually a single friend DID show. Single, attractive and interesting. As Scalene was chatting to DF I took the opportunity to make some headway.
After another drink or two we all retired to Chez Fez, stopping to pick up large quantities of animal bits on the way, for a BBQ and (paddling) pool party. Things were looking promising.
However… as the evening wore on a very worrying pattern emerged. I did not want to believe it at first, putting it down to banter and booze, but it became impossible to ignore.
Dragonforce was CLEARLY cock blocking me.
Initially I thought she was just slipping into ‘house’ style conversation (we live together) but after repeated bouts of this kind of ‘married’ banter, which is always rather off-putting to girls you are trying to woo, she started to drop real unavoidable clangers about some of my recent activities, notably the sisters episode. Toast and the Fez noticed it too.
Ultimately, whether that was the dealbreaker or not, the girl left without me making any further ground or securing a number. Although nothing is ever guaranteed, we had spent most of the night talking and in any similar situation I would have at least anticipated getting a number. But no.
In the morning Toast and I went to the shop and bought ridiculously calorific cereal and supplemented it with other delicious confectionery items for breakfast. We bought DF a lemon and a bottle of cat’s milk instead, as penance.
There is more to this story, but since there are several people involved I will let each tell his part.
Lesson for the day… hmm… perhaps it is:
– Don’t take DF out in social occasions with potential to meet single girls?