Menage a Tragedy
BISCUIT IS BACK ON THE INTERNET!!!! =D This time, with added ‘London’.
What’s more, it’s been my birthday, which was celebrated pre-emptively (and accidentally) with Toast, Scalene and FleetStreetFox; the result of which you already know if you have read Toast’s account of the evening and his very cryptic clue as to who was sick (‘rhymes with ‘Miscuit’… thanks).
I eventually made it to work for 3pm, “still obviously drunk” according to a colleague, and left at 5pm to start the post work drinks for round 2 of celebrations. Given all this, my actual birthday the following day was a quiet affair involving a hot bath, a cold beer, a good book and an early night!
Friday however, this was the night I had been waiting for. The night when I had actually planned not only to party, but to finally meet a girl who a mutual friend had been trying to set me up with. Previously referred to a ‘Wildcard‘, because she appeared to be SUCH an outside chance I now dub her Little Miss Sunshine as she is the most RELENTLESSLY positive and cheery person I have perhaps ever met!
Not ‘relentlessly positive’ in a “GEE! I just LOVE Mondays, they make me think of rainbows and kittens!!!” kind of way… but the kind of person who inspires you to be cheerful, optimistic and make the most of every opportunity.
Such a promising night full of all the right ingredients could only go one way… yep… WRONG!
First, the last of my friends flaked out on me, leaving me with no one to drink with. This has become more of a problem in the last few years as they are all getting old(er) and settled. Little Miss Sunshine, in true galvanising style, invited me out if I wanted to fly solo. On advice from both Toast and FleetStreetFox I decided to go all ‘carpe diem’! …or ‘carpe noctum’ at least.
Biscuit hits town…
As she would not be their until about 11.30, I had a few hours of preparatory getting drunk and playing Rock Band to do. Nicely lubricated I jumped on the tube and eventually arrived at the club.
Unfortunately, a significant wardrobe malfunction meant she was late and so left me half hour or so to amuse myself.
Having moved to London to escape the incestuous small town cliques, I was slightly disheartened to see that Stripy Dress’s ex was there (the one that caused her to go into a tailspin at Sonisphere). This wasn’t a problem in itself as he doesn’t know me, but did not bode well for escaping cliques!
After about 3/4 hour, Little Miss Sunshine gleefully weaved her way towards me on the dancefloor. After a swift introduction to her chums I grabed her a drink and we had a quick round of enthusiastic ‘hello!’ chats before heading back to dance.
She is TINY (to me at least), full of beaming smiles, a cheeky Estuary English accent and a mischevious glint in her eye. Standing pretty at 5’3″ with an cracking figure she cut a great presence on the dance-floor. Suddenly things were rather looking up!
Feeling buoyant with new acquaintances, the perfect balance of booze inside me and a pretty girl who I seemed to have a lot in common with, things could only go up from here.
Next thing I knew, a tap on my shoulder left me looking straight into the face of Stripy Dress.
This was the very situation I had specifically been trying to avoid. After my last post wrapping things up with the Dress, she did actually warm up again and so I decided to just roll with it and see if there was still any potential, although the hot-cold behaviour was still the order of the day.
Stripy Dress and Little Miss Sunshine seemed to know all the same people, although not each other. So, there is me, Little Miss Sunshine, Stripy Dress and her ex all within about 15 square feet of each other. At one point they were actually dancing side-by-side.
Far from being some kind of erotic fantasy, this was the worst of both worlds. I had to play it very low-key with both and was really quite stressed by it all. Whilst I am still prepared to put in work with Stripy Dress, this was supposed to be the night to get to know Little Miss Sunshine.
The coup de grâce was when I realised that Stripy Dress had left without even saying goodbye. I should not care but this pretty much finished off the night for me. Thanking Little Miss Sunshine and promising to see her soon I made my way home, somewhat cross and dejected.
As it turned out, Stripy Dress was actually hammered and apologised the following day as she was taken home and did a sick. Still, it had been the proverbial nail in the coffin for the night.
Despite the layers of misfortune, going out was clearly the right thing to do. I met new chums, an awesome girl and grabbed my new London life by the prickly horns.
From initial impressions, Little Miss Sunshine is exactly the sort of person that everyone should have in their life. I need to get to know her better to see if there’s anything more than great music taste and an obscenely upbeat approach to life in common, but it’s very postive!
Marriage percentage – 30%.
- Both ‘noctum’s and ‘diem’s should be ‘carpe’d at every opportunity.
- Girls will never fail to surprise you with their capacity to make a great situation obscenely awkward.
- Don’t wear your favourite white T-shirt to a venue with a floor which appears to be coated in mud.