Home > Adventures in Dating > A message from Virginia

A message from Virginia

September 28, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments


The Virginian sent me an email after kicking me out of her dorm. Which makes the plot so thick it’s positively gravy.

‘So I don’t know if this is going to come off as very weird or what (most likely), but I’m typically pretty direct when it comes to addressing these kinds of things. Romantic or friendship whatever the case, I would bring something up. If this is too odd, please tell me and I’ll keep my nonsense to myself. Or it’ll just scare you away by coming off as crazy. But I’m a direct person so here goes-

It seems to me like we had a more open friendship prior to meeting; more casual, and more communicative. But after the dinner and after last night; it seems like it changed territories into being awkward; kind of reverting to the wait-two-days-to-contact sort of space. It’s not that I’m inferring this is more than it is, or complaining about not talking enough (etc) — Just that I would have expected us to be more open after meeting than revert.

Just wanted to know if I did something to offend you, or if it’s something else entirely. I just sense some kind of weirdness and wanted to address it. The thing I really liked about you prior to meeting is how I feel like I could message you whenever with whatever stupid thought and not think twice about bothering you, but now I have reservations and would like to clear the air.

I really hope this doesn’t read as crazy because it’s only been a few days; but I feel that I know you well enough, as a friend, to be able to say something serious and be plainly honest.’

I replied with the following

Honest is good. Sorry if it’s suddenly Seemed a bit weird – the events of Saturday caught me entirely off-guard, but I’ve not been attempting to be more distant or any of that ‘game’ nonsense.

I would very much like it if we could resume the normal service of lightly mocking each other over a series of slightly too many emails.

To which she replied.

I was worried that I messed things up by being so forward. We haven’t really talked about this kind of stuff – but I usually don’t do a second date with someone if I don’t feel a connection; and since we were having such a good time and I felt attracted to you – and went for it. Sleeping with someone to me is not a big deal, I enjoy it, but in the same reign I haven’t been with tons of guys either. I had been dating a guy for 4 1/2 years; and single the past 2 (well minor little things, nothing serious) — so I guess my attitude is go with the flow and see what happens; since I haven’t dated much and am rubbish at it.

And now she is going to cook me supper by way of an apology next time I’m in London. I think we can chalk that down as a win. Or at least only a light fail

  1. fleetstreetfox
    September 28, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Sounds like she regrets the shag and you’ve gone three steps back.

  2. September 28, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    FleetStreetFoxypants – A mars bar says you are wrong.

    • fleetstreetfox
      September 28, 2010 at 8:03 pm

      You’ve shagged her, she’s thrown you out, and now you’ve *offered* to email her. Christ almighty mate, you are far from engaged!

  3. fuckwittery
    September 28, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    She lahves you! In a really weird way. Not sure why she kicked you out, unless it was a single-bed kind of student hall in which case it would have been rude to stay.

  4. September 28, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    Foxypants – You are very fighty today, are you drunk?

    Fuckwittery – It was a single-bed in student halls. I wasn’t aware one was supposed to leave?

    • fleetstreetfox
      September 28, 2010 at 8:16 pm

      Oh shush. The Mars bar will be mine. I predict within one month you will not be seeing each other any more.

    • September 29, 2010 at 10:20 am

      Some of those student beds are like trying to sleep on a razor’s edge. Howvever with a little cooperation it’s generally possibly to have a comfortable night’s sleep in them.

      So is there now an etiquette about not sleeping over in student halls? It’s not something I was overly in a position to find out during my ‘time’.

  5. fuckwittery
    September 29, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    If you’re up for a bit of spooning then of course, but some people aren’t. It sounded like a horny hit rather than doe-eyed adoration fest…

  6. October 1, 2010 at 2:26 am

    If there’s room to shag in it, there’s room to sleep in it. This is a friends with benefits only relationship.

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