Challenge 1: Biscuit’s blind date report
This is the first time I had ever been on a *proper* blind date. I have been on quite a number of internet dates but those are different. With internet dating you have at least both been complicit in the selection of each other. For this date I was totally at the mercy of Toast’s selection.
Well… I WOULD have been at the mercy of Toast’s selection except he had been replaced by the fictional ‘Lauren’ as a proxy for Ms Fuckwittery setting me up with her friend.
This was all a rather confusing start to the proceedings and already laid a minefield of conversational faux pas that I would have to avoid. This would become even more hazardous if drunk.
The original plan for the date was to go on a fantastic walking tour of London where you join a group of strangers and an urban troubadour takes you to notable sites, tells you interesting things and then you put booze in your face before moving on.
Unfortunately it seemed that the monsoon season had unexpectedly hit London.
I was standing tentatively at the edge of the tube station peering nervously outside at the impending apocalypse when my date, Lucy, arrived. She had tight dark curly hair and was rather pretty. She also reminded me (facially) of a colleague, although it took me a couple of hours to figure out why she looked so familiar and it kept bothering me the whole time.
Agreeing that neither of us particularly wanted to take up snorkelling or be forcibly whisked away to a land of scarecrows, lions and tin men, I deferred to Lucy’s knowledge of the local drinking holes.
Skilfully sidestepping any conversation about ‘Lauren’ we gabbled about how rubbish X-Factor is, vodka-bra and treasure-hunting. Occasionally she mentioned her friend (Fuckwittery) and how much I’d get on with her. This made me do my best ‘poker face’, which mostly consisted of looking whimsical and replying with something vague like “hmm”.
We moved to another place and started on mojitos. This may not have been a good plan for a school night but it was fun. When it was time to part for our respective journeys I gave her a hug and a light kiss on the lips. She kissed me back… for a good 30 seconds or so! It left me feeling rather chipper and frisky!
Fuckwittery was a little disappointed that the date did not go either brilliantly or terribly. I think she was hoping for a little more of a dramatic outcome!
I *did* really enjoys Lucy’s company, but this is the ‘Wed or Dead’ wager, not ‘Get a Fun Drinking Chum’ wager. The intangible chemistry that makes me think of someone as girlfriend material just wasn’t there. I wasn’t thinking about introducing her to my parents or going crabbing in Cornwall. I could see fun times, not love and marriage on the horizon.
Marriage percentage – 22%. If it was a ‘drinking chums’ percentage it would be much higher.
- Blind dates are fun.
- I need bad weather contingency plans for dates which are essentially outside.
- Just because I let a girl kiss me on the mouth it doesn’t mean I’m going to marry them, nice kisses can be just that.