Home > Adventures in Dating > What would you do for a Mars bar?

What would you do for a Mars bar?


I like silly bets. This blog rather proves that. Just under a month ago FleetStreetFox wagered me that I still wouldn’t be seeing The Virginian a month later.

I laughed at her suggestion and the stakes got pretty high, to the point that a whole mars bar was involved. Yes, we don’t mess about when it comes to wagers.

Anyway, give that it was a bet, I didn’t want to lose. A lot.

Not wanting to lose has extended the thing with the Virginian probably beyond the point when I would have normally given up. Even with the lure of a mars bar I’ve rather reached my limit.

The Virginian had wanted to meet up on Saturday night but I said it was unlikely because I was moving house. The move took far less time than I expected, and so I was lured out to a pub by Biscuit.

The following text exchange is from that evening and is completely unedited.

Toast: My word has got cold

Virginian: Yeah I had to get a hat on

Toast: What sort of hat? I am drinking with Biscuit in King’s Cross as part of a ‘hurrah London’ celebration.

Virginian: Knit. I have plans for tonight.

Toast: Good stuff.

Virginian: You insisted that you’d be busy so I made other plans. Have a good one!

Toast: I know. I am a spaz.

<five hours pass the next message is at 2am>

Virginian: You are. What’s shakin?

Virginian: Come over

<At about 5am I had to make an urgent call on the porcelain telephone so I was up and groaning about how I was never drinking again, ever.>

Toast: Crashed out by the time I got this. Nasty hangover brewing.

Virginian: I just woke up. Bad hangover as well. Pub hopped then met up with a group and went to a club? I’m going back to sleep.

Toast: I wish I could sleep

Virginian: Yeah I’m up now. Cuppa tea, toast, and a lovely sky.

Virginian: Hahaha my bedside clock was reset, I thought it was 1:30pm. Shit it’s only 8.

Toast: Yup. A whole day of being hungover ahead of you.

Virginian: I actually feel pretty good. Just had some oj and headache medicine. Just lost my voice again, but I think from yelling.

Toast: Can I come and visit?

Virginian: I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’ll see you at your party.

Toast: *sad face*

Virginian: You’ve taken me for granted. Congrats on the move and all that jazzzz.

Toast: Can I take you out for brunch?

< days pass >

And that ladies and gentlemen is how you piss off Toast. I offered her brunch and she never even replied. Brunch, who doesn’t like brunch?

FleetStreetFox gave this review of the Virginian

You should listen to me to start with. It will save on confectionary in the long run. A woman who is a mature student is mad. A woman who is not on her own continent is running from madness. And someone who chucks a bloke out immediately post-bonk has passive-aggressive commitment issues.
And she probably like cats too.

Needless anti-cat sentiment aside I think FleetStreetFox is on to something, and it looks like I’ll be buying her a Mars Bar.

She is wise, but also very smug.

  1. Ms. L
    October 19, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    Thank GOD that’s over with. She was a cliche of messiness, enough to the point that it wasn’t even that great a read.

  2. Fleetstreetfox
    October 19, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    You have misquoted me, as per. I checked and I said ‘passive-aggressive commitment issues’, which makes much more sense.

    I still haven’t seen hide nor hair of this fucking Mars bar. Interest will accrue.

  3. October 19, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    FleetStreetFox is dead on. The Virginian is either a: suffering from an excess of immaturity or b: playing games (the “i made other plans” and then “oh hey i’m drunk come over” deal.) Neither of which you want to be involved with.

    NEXT. ;)

  4. Fleetstreetfox
    October 19, 2010 at 4:19 pm


    Anyway it’s just a misfire on one Saturday night – is it really worth a dumping?

  5. K
    October 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    “A woman who is a mature student is mad. A woman who is not on her own continent is running from madness.”

    I’m afraid I’m going to have to take serious issue with both of these points. It’s not even a good generalisation in my experience and would otherwise discredit some very amazing and interesting women (if they are doing either for the -right- reasons).

    So there. :P


  6. Fleetstreetfox
    October 19, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    Madness is defined as being in a minority of one. A mature woman in student halls is virtually the only one. No-one moves 5000 miles to a country without friends or family unless there’s something worse at home. And inviting someone into your lady bits then booting him out of bed is passive-aggressive to the point of idiotic illogic.

    She’s BARKING.

    • K
      October 19, 2010 at 6:43 pm

      Oh, I agree, she does seem barking, but ‘mature student’ vs ‘mature student living in student halls’ is apples to beetroot. And lots of people move to foreign countries for adventure and excitement or because they always wanted to. Maybe they’re an only child with divorced parents and not a large extended family. Maybe (and particularly true in the States) all their friends live all over the country anyway so it doesn’t seem like that big a deal to go one way across an ocean versus the other to California. Sorry, that one I can’t get on board with at all – if someone moves **for the right reasons**.

      As for that particular Virginia however, I agree. Bonkers.


  7. October 19, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    Blimes. Did you all hate her then? Why?

    • Fleetstreetfox
      October 19, 2010 at 9:39 pm

      See above.

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