How to not find the perfect woman
I’ve been thinking about my changing tastes in women. About ten years ago I wrote a list of what I want my dream woman to be like. It was long.
Can I recommend you never do this, ever, unless you want to spend the rest of your life lavishing attention on a pet.
No one will ever match up and you will have long angry conversations with your pet about how you can never meet someone who is more than an 70% match.
The list was fairly long and contained some very specific items, that seemed important at the time.
I can remember a few.
- Must not like the cartoon strip ‘Peanuts’ – This one is almost worth keeping. I’ve never understood the appeal of this but some people adore it. Weirdos.
- Must like olives – They are good, how can anyone sensible hate them?
- Must posses good underwear – There is no excuse for this.
- Not a fussy eater – I’m so bored of being around women who are weird about food.
- Should be obsessed with at least one trashy book series and slightly shy about it – People who only read Chaucer need to relax.
- Play a musical instrument well enough to teach me – Any musical instrument is fine.
And so on, the list got longer and longer until it was pages of requirements no one could possibly meet. And why should they meet them? It’s really selfish to make demands like this.
I was talking to a girl a few days ago who said she could never date anyone who uses PCs instead of Apple macs. Really? Really? It’s just a computer.
These days I have three requirements
- I have to fancy them
- They have to be nice
- They have to be interesting
And I’m now starting to wonder if that might be a bit too demanding.