Home > Adventures in Dating > Kissing Girls in Clubs – Part 2

Kissing Girls in Clubs – Part 2


I have inadvertently got myself into something of a pickle.. For the first time in ages, I have a strong contender for potential , uncomplicated, relationship material.. Noir is particularly interested and was quite forward in saying she thought I was lovely. I called her a couple of days after meeting her and arranged a date for this week. The kissing was great and we seem to be very much on the same level so it’s very encouraging. Pretty much the simple ‘boy meets girl’ scenario that seems to have been eluding me.

Well it seems that I can turn  any situation, no matter how simple, into a  convoluted conundrum

Saturday night was a night Hallowe’en celebrations. This is actually my absolute FAVOURITE  time of  year and I go all out on real horror. This year I got to play with Toast’s face too so we both  left the house dressed as horrific decaying zombies. Toast mentioned that this was the first time he had worn a costume that wasn’t specifically designed to impress ladies,. Quite the opposite in fact, this was  designed to utterly horrify them! Well… it’s nice to have a night off from attempting to impress ladies.

After a very amusing tube ride into town  scaring/entertaining fellow travellers  we arrived (first) at the venue where we were supposed to be meeting Toast’s friend and chums for her birthday/Hallowe’en celebration. Although we were the first ones there people arrived in dribs and drabs. The birthday girl has a LOT of pretty chums.

Thankfully we were immune from seriously trying to impress anyone, unless we were impressing them with our gangrene and loss of facial extremities. Toast’s friend was so horrified that she literally broke off a sentence mid-flow and said “I’m sorry, I can’t, you look so horrible” and ran away.

You can generally judge someone by the company they keep and everyone was lovely. As the night went on there was drinking, dancing, LOTS of having photos taken with strangers. We also met man wearing a pumpkin as a helmet who was a proper geordie miner and sang us mining songs.

That last part has absolutely nothing to do with the story but it was very impressive nevertheless.

Gradually, heat, sweat and time took their toll and our faces were melting off so we peeled off the remnants and emerged as sticky, slightly green, butterflies. We were still not exactly prize specimens. …or so I thought.

One of the birthday girl’s chums was wearing an excellent Elizabethan style crinoline dress with a swooshable hemline that she had to hitch up to dance, (which earns her the name Elizabeth) It was quite enchanting. She was being very flirty and Toast whispered to me that the birthday girl had said to him that she never behaves like this around any other boys.

After lots of dancing to the excellent brass band we kissed. We kissed a LOT actually. Toast said we were kissing for about an hour. She was very keen to meet up and do more of the same very soon so we swapped numbers and had a quick(ish) kiss goodbye.

Since then we have been communicating via text and she has been very interested.

And herein lies the problem. After months of searching for suitable marriage material I have stumbled across two girls within a week.

Both are interesting, pretty and sexy.

Both have a great sense of humour.

Both have a lovely circle of friends.

Both are great kissers.

Both are really interested in me.

Both are, surprisingly, around my own age.

More crucially,  both have been extended an invitation (pre-kissing) to mine and Toast’s house-warming this weekend.

This could be disastrous. Not just for me and my marriage chances, but for the ladies involved and their feelings if they both turn up.

I am not, by nature, a duplicitous person. I don’t wan to fib to people in general and especially to girls I like. I’m quite happy to discuss with either of them that I have been meeting other people for dates and I couldn’t entertain the possibility of simultaneously dating two girls with any degree of seriousness. However to potentially have both of them turning up to the same party at this stage will only end badly.

~I am going to do my best to avoid mentioning the housewarming to either of them again, but this may involve some evasion of the truth, which does not sit easy with me. I would really like both of them there… but not at the same time!

I really need a couple of dates to work out what to do as, until it gets serious, there’s not explicit problem with dating anyone else. However I potentially don’t have the luxury of that time! I have a date with Noir tonight and will try to avoid all talk of this weekend.

This is very unfamiliar territory and, quite frankly, I need some help in how to approach it!

Any suggestions???

  1. Christine
    November 3, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    Hello. My companion reckons your goose is cooked. :)

    I think you have to come clean to them both… Avoidance will NOT wash, they will both be expecting cosy flirting and maybe more at the party. Elisabeth will have less of an emotional investment at this stage so may take an offer of an alternative date in place of the party invite better. Noir would possibly be meeting people who were at the Halloween party so you can’t not mention it to her. Possibly reference the ‘Friends’ episode in which both of Phoebe’s dates turn up in the coffee shop – excruciating. You don’t want to be Phoebe….

    Good Luck!

  2. Carolinehearne
    November 3, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    Don’t attend. Be absent due to some work crisis.

  3. November 4, 2010 at 7:46 am

    @ Caroline: Be absent from my problems, life or my own house-warming?

    @Christine: It will only be cooked if they both turn up. I have to not mention it/play it down to both of them as I reckon there’s a reasonably high likely hood that they might both show.

    I wouldn’t count on Elisabeth being less emotionally attached. She’s been very text active and Toast’s friend mentioned to him that she rather likes me.

    This is all rather rubbish timing. I have been pondering explaining something of the situation to one or both of them (if I can even find an appropriate medium and moment to do it) but it’s all a gamble.
    -If I do come clean I guarantee myself (and both of them) a degree of upset. -However if they BOTH come to the house-warming it will be exponentially worse for everyone.
    -If one or neither show then I can treat this as a standard dilemma and follow it’s natural course.

    This is like one of those psychology experiments only with less electric shocks. For now at least anyway. :/

  4. RB
    November 4, 2010 at 12:50 pm

    I don’t think either of them would be surprised/upset to hear you are dating multiple people – it’s not frowned upon in these modern times, after all. Mebbe they both are too!

    But yeah, don’t mention the party again and then you can get off with someone ELSE at the party, thereby complicating your life to hilarious proportions, and end up having a heart attach due to having to run between multiple restaurants on one night in manner of Mrs Doubtfire.

    Then you could come to at the hospital to find all three standing at your bedside and do amusing comedy faint to avoid having to give explanations.

    My thoughts x

  5. RB
    November 4, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Heart attack.

    Not heart attach.

    Hearts should be attached. But not attacked.

  6. November 4, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Coming clean to both of them (to any extent) would be a mistake. It’s one of those things where you think it would make you seem lovely and genuine and refreshingly open etc…but frankly, no one wants to hear (especially at the start of something potential) that you don’t only have eyes for them.

    Lack of truthfulness aside, I think the answer is to just somehow ensure that they both don’t come to the party. And you need to quickly go on dates with both of them in order to get a clearer preference in your head!

  7. November 4, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    I must say, I agree with RB- you’re not necessarily “dating” either of them… you’ve kissed both, but as there hasn’t been a follow-up date with either, they’re on equal footing. If you’re really worried about the housewarming, it would be smartest to reschedule with one. That will also give you time to focus on the one that does attend and decide if you’re interested in taking things further. (As they’re both interested in you, Posh Boy, you may need more time to see where the “spark” is.)

  8. Fuckwittery
    November 6, 2010 at 10:34 am

    Am I the only one who actually REALLY wants them both to attend? Perfect situation to weed out any emotional instabilities/disproportionate jealousy at this stage; it gives you an opportunity to get to know them better because it would be bad form to neck one of them in front of the other all night, can watch them integrate and just get on at a house party. Of course also because if it does go wrong it’ll make for a fabularshe story.

  9. November 11, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    You aren’t in a relationship with either. Chill, my lovely. Too much dedication and forethought to things that haven’t happened yet.

  10. November 11, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    I must say, I felt a lot happier after reading RB’s comment, except for the part about snogging someone else. *squinty accusing face @RB*
    The whole ‘simultaneous dating’ thing is still rather new to me and feels a little bit naughty!

    • November 12, 2010 at 3:43 am

      Are you saying naughty like it is a bad thing? I need clarification.

  1. November 10, 2010 at 7:15 pm
  2. November 11, 2010 at 10:35 pm
  3. November 27, 2010 at 12:33 pm
  4. February 6, 2011 at 6:56 pm

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