Home > Adventures in Dating > Noir, Jamie Cullum and Jewish Bum Sex

Noir, Jamie Cullum and Jewish Bum Sex


Early last week I met up for a second date with Noir. Our first had consisted of mojitos, pizza and a little kissing.

Since I had travelled to her last time, we met somewhere centrally this time. Actually, since it was so homely, I arranged to meet her in the same pub in which Toast first introduced me to the Virginian and we made multinational friends with the power of balloons.

By serendipity, we both arrived precisely 11 minutes late, so were both on time to walk in the door only 5 seconds apart.

The pub is ‘authentic London boozer’ upstairs and ‘homely restaurant’ downstairs so we were able to relocate to the basement when we fancied a little grub.

As I usually forget details from dates I have taken to jotting down reminders:

  1. There was a lot of talk of music, recommendations and counter recommendations. We’ve got quite a base of overlapping music taste and that’s always been quite important to me.
  2. We discussed my Borderlands addiction with a slightly sensitive tone that one might discuss booze with an alcoholic. I assured I had it under control… pretty much.
  3. Emoticons are favoured, although sparingly and to effect, much like swearing.
  4. Noir has some great anecdotes and after her accidental introduction into the London gangster scene a decade ago, this time I learned of a Frasier-esque farce where by both her and her dad ended up at a Jamie Cullum concert that neither of them wanted to be at. Although not wanting to be a a Jamie Cullum concert is not exactly surprising in itself, her dad had bought the tickets as a father daughter bonding activity thinking that she liked him, she went along for the bonding thinking that her dad was really keen. Let hilarity ensue!
  5. Apparently I was not the only person to raise the subject of Jewish bum sex with her in the previous week. Being the THIRD to independently raise the subject she was beginning to get a bit of a complex. She was unaware of the stereotype of Jewish girls doing a bum sex because it’s not ‘real’ sex and so doesn’t count. In retrospect, I think this may be a primarily American thing as I was listening to a lot of Keith and the Girl podcast for a while and it was discussed a number of times on there. Anyway, the subject was eventually vetoed due to exasperation!

A lot of my recent dates seem to have followed the same pattern: Meet drink, (optionally eat), kiss, say goodbye. This must be making some repetitive writing but I am not quite sure how to break out of that cycle.

Thing is, I’m not looking for a quick lay. It would be easy to arrange something at her or my house and let the natural progression of booze and coziness lead to hijinks. If I was just trying to do the sex, that would be a lot easier. Trying to find out whether you are compatible with a lady for a serious relationship, love and marriage is something else though.

On that basis, I don’t want to rush into winkle touching just for the sake of it.

We left the pub so I could walk her to the bus stop, with plan to have some time to do some kissing before she had to leave. Unfortunately her bus turned up in about 30 seconds… so she missed that. And the next. And the next! Blimes.

I’m being very cautious with my approach and trying to take it slow to see how things develop. M35%. That might seem low but it’s just me being measured.

Interestingly, Toast got an email from their mutual friend with the counter-intelligence on my date. It’s rare that you get this kind of info so you never really know how it went in the mind of the other person. However, here is her date report for me:

1. Biscuit bought the first round (gentleman points)
2. Biscuit had a very nice stripy top on (Noir fashion points)
3. Biscuit made her do lots of massive belly laughs (she said he would find
this either revolting or endearing; I suspect endearing)
4. Biscuit walked her to the bus stop and they let FOUR buses go by cos they
were too busy doing kissings on each other
(lackadaisical-attitude-to-transport points)

All in all, that’s a pretty good report! Certainly a lot better than I suspect some others might have given me based on precious behaviour.

  1. November 24, 2010 at 3:55 am

    Sounds like someone must be quite the kisser, maybe we should rename you, instead of the Kissing Menace, you should be the Kissing Ninja……stealthy, practiced in the art, and likely to attack at any moment. *giggle*

  2. November 24, 2010 at 10:08 pm

    I will take all nicknames heralding my kissing.
    …unless it’s ‘Biscuit the boy kisser’ or something.

  3. November 25, 2010 at 5:12 am

    “Biscuit the Boy Kisser”??? :) I really hadn’t even thought of that one.

  4. November 25, 2010 at 5:14 am

    BTW, why does my old av pic still show up on your blog? It is updated on all of the others. Le’sigh

  5. November 27, 2010 at 10:13 am

    *looks blankly at computerbox*

    I like kittens!!! =D

  6. November 27, 2010 at 11:20 am

    ummmmmm…….this is why you kiss girls……you run out of logical things to say. Kissing is the next best thing to do, right? ;)

  1. February 16, 2011 at 1:04 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s