How to Impress a Lady with a Raspberry Martini
I met Lashes on a crisp and frosty Friday night. I know it was crisp and frosty as I had actually managed to get there on time but she was unfortunately held up by work and the hilarious state of the Tube network at the moment. This gave me a bit of time to wander round, enjoy the view of the Thames, enjoy the view again…
After 45 minutes of quite thoroughly enjoying the view (it was a lovely view but a bit parky) Lashes turned up. The first time she had been all ‘corset and top hat’, the second was geek chic. This time she was in classy work wear, or casual evening wear. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure WHAT she was wearing as I spent most of the time looking at her face and listening intently.
As mentioned, we were there as Toast’s plus 1s from his blaggy media job. Promptly handed mojitos, we were escorted to the roped off VIP are which consisted of us, 2 other chaps and a table with a massive bucket of booze in!!
Lashes was slightly astounded. “Do you do this all the time?”, “Nope, first time” I answered, grinning. “Cheers!”.
Toast turned up about 20 minutes later, giving us lots of time to talk. Lashes is ferociously intelligent and extremely knowledgeable and passionate about her work, which is pretty much the focus of most of her life. I found that I spend a lot of time listening, much more so than talking’ which is rather unusual for me. I am fascinated by what she has to say, even if I only understand half of it at times.
Toast spent about an hour and a half with us before he had to chip off for work drinks. I say ‘chip off for work drinks’… whilst this is technically true it was all part of the original wingman plan.
Whilst this is a wager and we are in competition, we are not in the business of sabotage (it’s rule number 1, after all) and if we are in a position to help the other then we will. Especially considering that neither of us is anywhere near the finish line.
I too had planned to leave after a couple of hours as I had a ticket to see Skunk Anansie. To make it in time to miss the support and just catch the band, I needed to leave about 30 minutes after Toast. Lashes knew I had to go too.
The conversation became quite intent (with regular breaks for all the booze I was consuming).
In a ‘sounding out’ move, I talked about my perception of the American practice of simultaneous dating and she said she really wasn’t into it, which I was pleased to hear.
I asked what she wanted from the bar as we had run out of the beer she was drinking. She looked me in the eye and with a slight smile and said “surprise me”.
This is a test so blatant that there is barely any pretence otherwise. Raising my eyebrow I looked back, clapped my hands together and said ‘Right!” with an air I intended to suggest she should find a comfortable comfortable and secure sitting position and prepare for a taste explosion. Standing up I strode confidently and purposefully to the bar and out of sight.
I stood at the bar with absolutely NO idea of how to fulfil my inferred promise. Faced with this unfamiliar territory I did what any clueless chap would do… I leaned over to the lady behind the bar and said “I need drink to impress a girl”.
Her subtle, barely acknowledging but knowing nod filled me with the same relief and confidence as would have the appearance of a fireman come to rescue me from a burning building. I knew I was in safe hands.
A minute or so of military precision, multitasking, bullet-time style drinks preparation action later I walked away with a raspberry martini. Mustering all my suave and cocksure attitude I presented Lashes with the drink, as though it was something I was highly accustomed to doing.
Dear readers, I highly urge you at the first opportunity to procure and consume a raspberry martini. They are DELICIOUS!!! Lashes appeared to be suitably impressed, although she stifled it, as I would expect any self respecting girl to.
There were so many engrossing topics of conversation that I can’t begin to list them, although she set me straight that she didn’t kiss anyone at Hallowe’en. It also emerged that she had seen me with my face glued to Elizabeth’s, even though I thought she had left,and lightly ribbed me about it.
At about 9pm, Lashes asked “Don’t you have to leave for your show?”. I had already made the decision an hour ago to miss it in favour of spending more time with her so I shrugged my shoulders an said “it’s fine, I should have left an hour ago, I won’t make it now”. Lashes looked really repentant and started apologising. I calmly said “Don’t apologise, I decided to stay here with you”.
Lashes inspires me to be a better person, to focus my energies into being productive and to meaningfully achieve. I still don’t know how old she is since she has the looks of someone in their twenties but career and achievements of a high flying career of some one in their late thirties.
When it was time to leave I walked her to her station, which was significantly futher than my station. We were both a little squiffy and at the bottom of the subway steps we were talking faces close with cheeky grins so I leaned in and kissed her. She kissed me back.
We did some more kissing at the top of the stairs and she said that she absolutely didn’t come out expecting anything like this. She even denied flirting over email, despite the obvious winky face. When I told Toast about this later he asked asked if she said this immediately after kissing. I was astounded that he had guessed this but apparently it’s standard girl modus operandi.
I came away impressed and inspired, although she could really do with tilting her head when kissing so I don’t have to break my neck to secure a decent angle.
Marriage percentage: 55%, the highest of any girl I’ve dated since we started this wager!!! I would love to take this further.
…however. Toast’s mutual friend, the birthday girl from Hallowe’en gave an interesting insight after. The date feedback was positive, although not as enthusiastic as Elizabeth, but there was a worrying phrase used. Apparently Lashes is currently ‘pining after an inappropriate’. Toast understood this to mean that she is hankering after someone who is unavailable and a bad choice for whatever reason. *sigh* So frustrating.
This kind of behaviour in otherwise hot, intelligent and successful women really exasperates me. Unfortunately it’s pretty much halved her marriage percentage to 30%. :/
So… I am left with a tricky situation. She couldn’t make the advance screening of a film I invited her to on the night so I presently have no excuse to see her again unless I make one. I am considering asking if she fancies another raspberry martini, although Toast’s chum Tate, upon recollection of the story, said “She is a bitch. She is in love with someone else. Move on”.
What do I do? I’m not going to go begging to anyone but I don’t mind some level of pursuit to show interest. I’m not slaying any dragons for just yet but I don’t expect to get something without a little work!
Any advice internets???