Home > Adventures in Dating > Having ‘the chat’ with a girl

Having ‘the chat’ with a girl


Toast and Fleetstreetfox have berated me for not having ‘the chat’  with Little Miss Naughty.

You know ‘the chat’; you have seen each other a few times, have maybe had some hijinks and the relationship between you two might or might not be going somewhere.

I did mean to have this talk with Little Miss Naughty on our last date. However I was a very bad date and then bottled it.

Firstly I turned up an hour late to meet her in a bar. I got lost. I got lost because I somehow managed to plan totally the wrong tube route there. Also we had to change venue as the first one was closed, so I was walking the streets trying to find the new bar.

Much to my chagrin, I am STILL ill and was on antibiotics in an attempt to clear my throat/chest infection. After a couple of attempts at calling her I lost my voice AGAIN. At this point, I was exhausted, frustrated, disheartened and just feeling ill… and an hour late.

Miss Naughty was incredibly good about it and was sporting a fetching newly cut fringe and dyed dark red hair. We drank gin and ate dim sum and generally had a fun time. Then she came and stayed over. She obviously wasn’t expecting to stay over as she hadn’t brought any pyjamas or a toothbrush.

By the time I’d dropped her back home the next day we still hadn’t had the chat.

This state of ‘non chatness’ was silently realised but not acknowledged by us both. So we did what all responsible adults would do… had it via MSN instead.

We both knew we had been a bit full on and keen at the start and that it probably wasn’t a sensible, but that it was still fun. Having talked, we both know where we stand at least. On the basis that there’s not any meaningful future potential I have to make the marriage percentage 15%

This is the Wed or Dead Wager. I am currently no nearer to success than when I started so in the meantime occasional hijinks is not off the cards.

Oh, by the way, Little Miss Naughty’s ex, who is still living with her, is no longer talking to her after he found evidence of my stay there. In the bin.

  1. illjustletyoufall
    January 17, 2011 at 1:23 am

    I like this very much.

  2. January 17, 2011 at 1:32 am

    My bad navigation skills, failure to have the chat, the residual potential of hijink or the bin incident?

    I’m not sure I should be proud of any of this! Although at least the last one was not my fault at all.

    • illjustletyoufall
      January 17, 2011 at 1:52 am

      As the great Oscar Wilde is often credited with saying, “To define is to limit,” or some other such thing.

      But, I mean, I’m highly damaged and severely afraid of commitment, whereas you are actively attempting to, uh, commit.

      Different angles, I suppose.

      • January 17, 2011 at 1:59 am

        Well in that case I’m glad you find a general level of ‘liking’ in our endeavours!

        I tell you though, it’s not nearly as easy as we thought it would be. I mean, almost a YEAR in and we’re pretty much back at square 1, after a few false starts.

        I think I need a little sit down. *mops brow*

    • illjustletyoufall
      January 17, 2011 at 1:55 am

      But I suppose I was directing my comment mostly on your last paragraph. That made me laugh.

  3. Fleetstreetfox
    January 17, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    You are an absolute knobend. Can I just point out that Toast and i both predicted this sorry state of affairs? One day you’ll actually pay attention.

  4. January 17, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    *fingers in ears* LALALALALALA
    Yeah, so, whatevs. :p

    At least the important thing here is that I have learned a lesson from all of this. I am no not allowed to get excited until 2 dates in. FACT.

  5. Ms. L
    January 18, 2011 at 2:33 pm

    Biscuit, perhaps your monkey-AIDS would clear up if you’d stop drinking alcohol and going out so much. Take two weeks off. Think of it as vacation from a job. Seriously. And don’t just do it for yourself. It’s a public health issue now. You’re going to spread monkey-AIDS around London, slut.

  6. January 20, 2011 at 4:45 am

    Seriously Biscuit, you do realize they won’t allow you into the States with the Monkey Aids.

    Little Miss Naughty is worthy of occasional hijinks and little more. Were you honestly ever expecting more? You are so adorbs!

    Also, I turned one and neither you, Toast nor Scalene dropped in for my birthday party. *boo*

  7. January 20, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    Shawn – AHHH! :( Bugger! We are bad blog friends. I have been struggling to cram the time/energy to write up and have neglected my best blog chums. How can I make it up to you? Tea? Cucumber sandwiches???

    Little Miss Naughty was up for potentially more once the dust settled but I realised I just got overexcited before we’d even met. I still totally want a girl who is that naughty though.

    I think the Americans also don’t take kindly to people coming there to marry their women, so we’re keeping that on the low down too!

    Ms. L – I promise I’ve not been out partying! In the last 4 weeks I’ve been out on two low-key dates and three nights out, one of which was new year eve (which was a very quiet affair) and one involved an early night and only 2 beers.

    The other night out might have been last night but it was only because there was a free bar!

    • January 21, 2011 at 7:15 am

      I feel so juevenile. Seeing you blog about “the Americans” just makes me chuckle.

      Geez, “Americans,” those crazy bitches.

  8. January 21, 2011 at 4:43 am

    Don’t make fun of me, but I LOVE cucumber sandwiches. In other words, yes, that will be proper repayment for the slight.

    Also, just because you are a worthy individual for her to land, does not necessarily make her worthy of you, dearest.

    The Americans should learn to be better suitors if they don’t want “others” taking off with their ladies. Just rid yourself of the monkey flu.

  1. April 5, 2011 at 9:45 pm

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