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The difference between Toast and Biscuit

Biscuit

In  case any of you are unsure as to who you’re rooting for to win this wager, or may be having trouble really identifying the finer differences in our philosophies, I thought I’d share this little slice of domestic life.

Toast kindly brought home some ‘bake at home’ soufflé mix so I popped a couple in the oven for dessert. I’m fairly handy in the kitchen when I need to be and I worked briefly as a chef’s assistant, however I’ve not really baked many cakes in my time and Toast tends to do most of the cooking in the house as I will tend to eat a multipack of crisps or Jammie Dodgers if left to my own devices. Because of this I was extra pleased when I open the oven to see that they had risen to full puffy glory.

I lovingly removed them from the oven to cool. I do have a tendency to wander off and forget when I have things waiting in a kitchen and many’s the time I have offered a cup of tea only to forget and leave it to stew for 20 minutes and go cold. Toast asked a couple of times what had happened to the  soufflés as I muttered something about them cooling.

When I went back 5 minutes later I saw, to my horror, that they had both sunk. As I looked on, slightly distraught at the suicide of my delicious baked treats, Toast said:

T: I knew that woild happen

B: What? How?

T: You took them out pf the oven and the cold air made them fall

B: Why didn’t you say??? How was I supposed to know, I thought it was loud noises that made cakes fall, like in the cartoons.

T: Haven’t you ever wondered why in films and books, people order the soufflé at the start of the meal?

I looked at him blankly. He might as well have been talking about the finer point of Georgian architecture or The advantages of early operation with splenorrhaphy versus nonoperative management for the blunt splenic trauma patient for all that I had considered it before. I cannot recall a single moment in my life when I have been aware of the ordering etiquette associated with  soufflé, let alone witnessed such an event in dramatic representation.

T: It’s all OK, they’ll still taste fine.

Toast’s knowledge of fine dining is possibly why he can effortlessly circulate in high society and why he keeps being mistaken for a gay whilst I have a wardrobe consisting primarily of T-shirts and Adidas sneakers.

He was right about one thing though. I’ll never make that mistake again. Next time I’ll just spoon the raw mix straight into my mouth.

…so given that insight into our respective culinary knowledge and ability to multi task, who is your money on?

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  1. January 30, 2011 at 7:42 pm

    Wait, are you saying because you will now eat raw souffle mix that we should or should not root for you?

    …and I think that you missed the most important start of your story…what will you have for dessert now?!

    • January 31, 2011 at 12:18 am

      I’m not sure what I’m saying. Possibly that I need to learn more about soufflé?
      On the subject of your question, I think that I’m going to reprise jelly as an acceptable desert, perhaps in a bunny rabbit mould. *flashbacks to youth*

  2. February 6, 2011 at 2:35 am

    When you say jelly, I’m going to assume you mean jell-o, in my terms at least. I can’t picture biscuit eating a sandwich spread as a desert.

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