Home > Adventures in Dating > Victoria has a secret, Toast has a girlfriend

Victoria has a secret, Toast has a girlfriend


The first few days back in England were a jet-lagged blur. I definitely did go to work but I don’t remember much of it.

I did join a gym though.A week of drinking and American food had made my clothes shrink alarmingly. So I thought I should do something about that.

On Wednesday I had arranged to go over to The Consultant’s new flat. She had just moved in that very day.

It was in the evening, I was still a bit spaced out but it was a sort of constant feeling so evenings didn’t mean much. I don’t like jet lag when I head East. From now on I’m only going West.

The flat was the top of a tower block so the views across London are amazing.

I got distracted by the view and spent about ten minutes looking over London in a daze

Eventually I managed to refocus and knocked on her door. Her flatmate answered which confused me for a moment but then she appeared looking slightly shy in her serious business clothes. Girls look hot in lady business clothes.

We said slightly tentative hellos and then I sat down and handed over a selection of gifts (make-up, perfume and so on), culminating in handing over the underwear. It would be an understatement to say it was a hit. I had her size perfectly and it was in a style and colour she liked.


She had to do a bit of work before we go could go to sleep but she resolutely did it while wearing her new fancy pants which was very beguiling. She looked very good in them. I might make that a rule, she can do work while visiting but it has to be while wearing fancy pants.

At some point in the evening the following dialogue happened.

The Consultant: “Thank you again for my lovely underwear.”

Toast: “You seem to have it all now, the flat, the job, the pants, the only thing you seem to be missing is a boyfriend.”

T.C says nothing.

Toast: “We could fix that you know. Would you like that?”

T.C still says nothing but looks at Toast through her fringe (bangs).

Toast: “Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

T.C: “Yes, I’d like that very much.”

There may have been some kissing.

Fade to black

Marriage percentage: 35%

  1. eyebrowsofdoom
    March 11, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    You smooth bastard

    • March 11, 2011 at 2:11 pm

      You should always ask people out with flair just in case you have to talk about it at the wedding speech.

      • eyebrowsofdoom
        March 11, 2011 at 2:24 pm


        WRITE A BOOK

  2. March 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm

    Aw :) I hope confetti and singing things occurred too. You can make that happen, right?

  3. March 11, 2011 at 11:02 pm

    Only 35%?? What?! Boyfriend chat and pants and all? I would have thought ring shopping was in order. Or is that immodest rapidity on my part?

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