Learning about luggage, dealing with emotional baggage
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Things with the Consultant have been good and they have been less than good. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin.
On Wednesday I took her to a film premier.
We were supposed to be going to a slightly swanky party but some last-minute tickets to The Eagle dropped into my hands so I thought we’d do that instead.
She’d never walked the red carpet before so I thought could be fun adventure.
We arrived a little late, so there wasn’t as much time for red carpet posing as we would have liked but there were lots of people dressed up as Romans so that helped. We did manage stop briefly on the carpet to be snapped before bumbling into the film and sitting down.
There was a long talk from the producer, and then a brief talk from the director and actors before things started. The actors mostly just jumped up on stage and waved. Channing Tatum had an excellent blue suit on.
The film was bad, really quite bad. It was also a mega boy film, with unlike-able characters and a vapid plot.
The Consultant was bored. I was bored and my skin was crawling with embarrassment over dragging her to watch such an awful film. I felt so much shame that I gave her my chocolate bar.
After the film was over I took her out for a meal to make up for the film-sins. We had some reasonable Chinese food in China town and discussed how awful the film was before jumping on the tube.
I ended up staying at her place for the night, it was nice. The only minor blip was she got me to do something nice for her, and then fell asleep before repaying the favour. Hrmpf.
I was hoping this wasn’t going to become a habit.
We had arranged to meet up on Saturday in the evening. She had some furniture she had bought and needed help making it. I said I’d help and in a slightly cheeky way asked what my reward would be. This didn’t go down well. It would be safe to say that the text I had in reply was terse.
I tried to call her to sort things out, she didn’t pick up.
Then it was time to turn up at her house for supper. I hopped on the tube with an overnight bag, but I was expecting to end up going home.
I was expecting to break up with her to be honest. Her behaviour was so baffling and to have this sort of prickly encounter this early on was not a good sign. I’m too old for this sort of nonsense.
I arrived at her flat. Her room was a mess with bits of furniture everywhere. She was looking a little flustered. We said hello across the skeleton of a cabinet. It wasn’t a friendly hello.
There wasn’t a kiss, a hug or even a mwah. I’ve had more jovial encounters in police stations.
I made the furniture. Thinking it was vaguely reminiscent of that date with the Fez but far less fun. When the furniture was made we put it in place and then rearranged her room. All with an air of remote impersonal efficiency like communist era Russia.
The Consultant then went out to get supplies for cooking. I offered to go with her but she said I should remain in the now empty flat. I spent the time reading a pamphlet I’d found in my coat pocket very thoroughly.
She was gone for about 45 minutes and returned with a selection of goodies including ice cream. I took the ice cream as a positive sign, if she wanted to have that chat she wouldn’t have got ice cream.
She then jumped into a shower, so I cut up vegetables and because I’d run out of things to do, all the washing up. We made the meal in frosty near-silence. We were literally at opposite ends of the kitchen during the cooking process. I’ve never made a meal in a less sexy way.
The food was served up and eaten with the polite non-conversation normally reserved for people you are near in queues or distant cousins with extreme religious views.
After supper we watched Clue on her laptop and then I asked her what was going on, you know like an adult.
She apologised for the terse text, saying she had been really tired and a bit snappy.
I didn’t say anything else thinking that a pause might help, and she finally revealed the source of the issue. She said that previous relationships had been just about sexy times and mistakenly thought this was what our relationship was based on.
She had previously broken a relationship with a chap because she thought that, even though they were living together and he had tried to convince her otherwise and she admits that this was the wrong thing to do.
This does explain a bit of how she might have been a bit remiss about returning favours in the bedroom.
She admitted she had a bit of an issue.
After this things suddenly defrosted and became far more friendly. I did end up staying the night and it was nice. I left the next day far more relaxed but somewhat pensive.
The next day she emailed me thanking me for being so understanding about the whole sexy times issue.
I’m still a bit concerned. I’m aware everyone has luggage but to have a blip this early on makes me raise an eyebrow. I didn’t expect to be dealing with drama this early on in courtship. Is this a warning sign or just a little curve in the road to a better place? I’d love to know what you lot think.
Marriage percentage: 25% – Yes it’s going to take a hit for this sort of stuff. I’ve dated enough hot, troublesome women to be slightly edgy about this sort of thing.