Home > Adventures in Dating > Dating in the third person

Dating in the third person


There are a few things you should do when you find yourself single again. I did the usual trio. I bought some new clothes, I went for a run and I re-activated my account on OkCupid.

It must be dating season  because I started to get messages a few minutes later from girls. Hurrah.

One of whom had no picture. She was amusing though so I sent a reply and we got chatting a little bit. Eventually she shared some pictures. This was a good thing.

I think it’s unfair if someone doesn’t put pictures on their profile. If you have put pictures up they should take an equal amount of risk, no? She shared some blurry photos and didn’t appear to be a man at least so we continued to talk.

I can’t remember how it started exactly but we started messaging in the third person. I think something to do with a man pestering her and she was asking a hypothetical question. Anyway, we started talking in the third person, and then didn’t stop.

The lady wonders if the man would like to go for a drink some time?

The man would quite like that, where does the lady live in London?

And so on. She wanted to meet up and so we did, last night.

It was in Green Park because that was where our tube lines crossed. Green Park isn’t a great great location but since she was running ten minutes late I had time to scout out a suitable place for us to have a drink.

She arrived and we said hello. She was medium height, long dark hair, dark brown eyes and sparkly lips. I suspect she had lip-gloss on rather than being half unicorn or something like that.

She was wearing blue jeans and a strappy top. Not that dressy but it was a Monday night so who knows what one should wear?

We ambled over the pub and ordered our non alcoholic drinks. She isn’t a big drinker and I decided to have a night off because I feel a bit weird if I’m drinking and the other person isn’t.

We talked about all sorts of things. She is from Portugal, is doing a PhD and plays squash. She attracts 24 year old men a lot and isn’t very girly girl but likes make-up. She was nice. Conversation was easy and the time passed fairly quickly.

A bit later it was time to get the last tube home so we walked back to the tube station and said goodbyes with vague plans to meet up again. She was pleasant and lovely but I was so excited about meeting up with Dawn on Saturday that she didn’t really have a fair chance. She was nice though and had an amusing accent.

Marriage percentage 15%

  1. Don Alfonso
    April 5, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    A strict grammarian might point out that you’re using the third person.

  2. April 5, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    Don. The Toast is sorry. He has changed it now. I thank you for your help.

  3. MrsD
    April 5, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    What proportion of the 15% is due to her amusing accent?

    • April 5, 2011 at 4:57 pm

      Hard to say. 3% Maybe? Portuguese people sound Russian which I find endlessly amusing.

      • MrsD
        April 5, 2011 at 5:01 pm

        Oh, shame, I wanted it to be higher. I love the idea of you chuckling into your lemonade as she speaks to you in the third person.

  4. L.A.
    April 5, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    Were you actually talking in third person during the meet up?

    That sounds like a challenge.

    L.A. wonders if she can talk in the third person for an extended period of time.

  5. Don Alfonso
    April 5, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    My pleasure, Toast. I would not want a potential bride to have seen the solecism and written you off as troth-plighting material.

  6. April 27, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Talking in third person is very hard to do for any period of time.

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