Home > Adventures in Dating > Softly softly catchee monkey

Softly softly catchee monkey

Biscuit

Having  resolved to return to gentlemanly conduct (after my shocking behaviour on my date with Shannon) I  had my next date with Jen to arrange. We bounced around a few possibilities then settled on a comedy night that Toast and I were going to with a few chums. This would be our fourth date.

Jen met us at home and travelled to the club with us. When we arrived, most of the gang was already there, including MyLoveLifeInYourHands and Fuckwittery. It emerged afterwards that I had neglected to mention there would be other people there and this caught Jen on the hop slightly.

As we sat down, I noticed to my amusement that I had done naughty things with all three girls at the table. This was not lost on Toast either who took a serupticious photograph of me with all my ‘wives’ as he put it.

I have since realised that this was the first time in this wager that I had introduced any of my dates to my friends.  I hadn’t even given this any thought because Jen is such a gregarious person that I hadn’t considered that she  wouldn’t get on with everyone. If she was nervous about meeting people she didn’t show it.

When we grabbed our seats Jen was sat next to MyLoveLifeInYourHands and the two of them quickly hit it off, even with some Hugh Grant style bumbling from MyLoveLifeInYourHands when he touched Jen’s knee by accident and got into a cycle of earnest hurried apologies. Fuckwittery excitedly enthused to us “Oh my god you talk the same!!!” after Jen used a phrase she’s picked up from me.

I met Toast’s sister later that evening and I’m still utterly baffled as to why she might have thought I was a womaniser as I’d been nothing but polite!

We watched the comedy. Some of the acts were very good. Some were rubbish. One was so bad that I had to hide my own face to cover the mortification of being party to such an atrocity. I was worried that I might be called to The Hague and be found complicit in crimes against hunmanity due to my silent participation.

Watching live comedy is a great gauge of someone’s personality as you can see whether they find jokes about Hitler, casual racism or cocks funny and see how comfortable they are letting go and laughing in public. If the night was a test, which it wasn’t, then Jen would have passed with honours, a lollipop and a gold star. She’s got a outgoing, miscreant sense of humor that often seems to be bestowed upon those that were raised in the North (of England, not the pole).

In further testament to her joie de vivre, when the comedy was finished asd we were all set to head off home she was the only one who was keen to stay for the late night disco. However we were all sleepy and it was a Thursday night so we sauntered off home for bed.

Friday morning

I am not very functional in the mornings, it would be fair to say that I struggle. As Jen was awake before me she was doing all sorts of nice things and extracting what little conversation she could from me. When she asked if we’d also arranged to meet Saturday (which was the following day) because she that had been on the cards in the organising stage, I mumbled “sort that out when I wake up properly”. After dragging myself to the shower to force myself into consciousness I did a lot of thinking.

I really like Jen and I didn’t want to give her the impression that I was being evasive or wasn’t interested, I just wanted to take things slowly as I value my ‘boy time’ (this might involve xbox with Toast) and don’t want to make the mistake of rushing into this. After the shower I made us a cup of tea and sat her on the sofa for a chat (it seems that a cup of tea is mandatory for any chats).

I took a deep breath and started my measured explanation, which went something like this:

“I don’t mean to seem evasive about seeing you on Saturday. I do enjoy spending time with you, I’m just very cautious after being well and truly burned by my last girlfriend. There’s also  been a couple of people that I’ve been interested in but didn’t end well.

This is the first time I’ve really done ‘dating’ and I’ve been on a LOT dates over the last year or so but all the relationships I’ve had to date have happened really quickly from the outset. I’ve never done that progression from dating into relationship so I’m not really sure how it works.

Basically I’ve been WAAYYY too keen a few times recently and have then suddenly lost interest. I don’t want to do this with you as I really like you so I’m trying to be calm and measured. That’s why I’d rather see you in another week or so rather than tomorrow, I’m just trying to get things right this time”

Jen looked a little relieved and said that her last relationship was about 9 months ago and she was very guarded too. If I had been talking about any sort of commitment at this stage then there would be a Jen-shaped hole in the front door. She wouldn’t consider any sort of relationship without at least three months of dating first.

She said it would be really helpful to know if I was seeing anyone else too as she had a couple of people asking her out. I answered that I had been but I had already decided to stop because it all gets a bit confusing for me and I don’t want to put myself in a position where there were two people I liked at once. Apparently there had been three other people she was seeing at first but as soon as we did naughty stuff she knocked the others on the head, so I had sort of won the competition I didn’t know I was in.

It was such a relief to have got that all into the open and we both slumped exhausted on the sofa to finish our tea. This is the first time I have got this far with someone during the wager. It feels really promising but also slightly scary too, as I’ve no idea how I’m going to deal with the prospect of trusting someone enough to risk the kind of gut-wrenching fallout I went through with Cupcake.

After all this I promised to come and see Jen at her place the following weekend as she had made all the travelling effort so far. This is kind of a big deal as it involves going outside of the M25 and EVERYTHING! I must really like this one.

Marriage percentage: Still a solid 53%.

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  1. MrsD
    April 6, 2011 at 4:35 pm

    Aww, this is much sweeter than the slightly creep title led me to believe it would be. Cute

  2. MrsD
    April 6, 2011 at 4:36 pm

    CreepY. Soz

    • April 6, 2011 at 7:30 pm

      Did that sound slightly creepy? Hmm, I may have to revise using that when I’m coaching the womens’ volleyball squad.

  3. MrsD
    April 6, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    Are you wanting to go more or less creepy? I am an expert in creeps and creepiness, I can give you some feedback if you like.

    • April 7, 2011 at 12:16 am

      I just like that you didn’t assume that I meant ‘less creepy’. It says encouraging things about you!

      • MrsD
        April 7, 2011 at 11:47 am

        Ha ha, well I wouldn’t want to be presumptive (is that a word?)

  4. MrLumpyBadger
    April 6, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    Brilliant! You’ve done exactly the right thing there!

    Mrs Badger & I went through the exact same thing – and the fact that she is now Mrs Badger should tell you how well that worked out! We took it as slowly as humanly possible. We knew when to stop trying to take it slowly when we realised she had more clothes at my place than at hers. The rest is history :)

  5. April 7, 2011 at 12:15 am

    Ah! Welcome My Badger, a pleasure to sere you here. Your good Mrs Badger has been offering sagely advice… or amusing quips at least!

    It’s nice to get a little validation for my choices, I do think I’m doing the right thing whatever way it works out.

    Anyway, congratulations on your catch!

  6. April 9, 2011 at 7:40 am

    Goodness, beaten here by the other ‘arf! The way I remember it, when Mr Badger gave me the ‘I want to take it slow’ chat, I genuinely thought I was being dumped and burst into tears. Then basically moved into his place while he was feeling confused and emotionally manipulated. And now? Result! I am mistress of all I survey.

    But anyway. Jen sounds like she’s rather more sensible and less nutterish than I am, so you’re no doubt doing just the right thing. In all seriousness (what, really? Nooooo), it is sensible to rein it in a little at an early stage as it’s easy to get carried away. But don’t let it hold you back too much if you decide this really could be something, as life’s too short, etc. etc. So, um, carry on, basically. Good, good.

    Hope your visit this weekend goes well. Outside the M25, eh? You bold adventurer, you!

  1. May 5, 2011 at 11:22 am

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