Home > Adventures in Dating > Toast tries to make things better and ends up making them a bit worse

Toast tries to make things better and ends up making them a bit worse


As previously mentioned. I am a berk. This wasn’t just a one off thing. I continue to be a berk.

Why? Well let me show you. After I accidentally sent Dawn that text message I thought I’d send her an email today to see if I could save things. Here is the message I sent.

Hi Dawn,

Sorry about the spazzy text on Saturday.  When my afternoon plans changed I asked Biscuit (The balloon guy) if he was doing anything fun, he said he was having tea with his grandmother and said I was welcome to join him.  I sent a silly text to him, or at least that was the plan.

Instead I sent it to you and thus one of the most cringe-worthy thing I’ve done in a while, or at least a week, happened.

I am a massive spaz at the best of times, it’s a wonder I’ve managed to live this long.

I would still like to take you out for a drink but If you feel I’m too much of an imbecile to seen in public with I will of course understand. Which sadly does mean you’ll never get to see the greatest cowboy boots in the world*.

*They have caused a slightly specialised style revival as seen in the <REMOVED> section of <REMOVED> out <REMOVED>.

Not bad Toast, you might think. It’s silly, light and engaging. What could possibly go wrong?

Well what if Toast called her Dawn instead of her real-life name. That would be quite bad wouldn’t it?

That’s what I did.

What a massive spazzer.

(She hasn’t replied)


She has replied.

You are a massive douche. But hiliarious and brilliant entertainment. I will give the cowboy boots a miss as have a lot on at the moment but thank you for the explanation and hope you have a nice week and you get everyones name right x

A brush off, but a lovely one none the less. I can’t say I entirely blame her though.


  1. April 11, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    Ha – oh, what a tangled web we weave, and all that ;-) (I know it all too well.)

    • April 11, 2011 at 3:19 pm

      I’m not clever enough for this sort of thing.

  2. guerillakitchen
    April 11, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    To be fair, the over-complicated email explanation and the barking explanation plus mention of cowboy boots and tea with grandmothers would surely be enough to freak her out anyway. I suspect you getting her name wrong will be small beer. Has it occurred to you that she’d be more interested in a man attending parties with hot girls than a saddo spending his Saturday hanging out with Balloon Boy and his grandma?

    • April 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

      True. True

  3. The B
    April 11, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    I have a hurty from laughing! You are VERY silly…

    • April 11, 2011 at 8:22 pm

      B, I am true to form at least

  4. Ms. L
    April 11, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    I love her response. She’s a keeper, had you not already blown it.

    • April 11, 2011 at 8:23 pm

      Ms L – Alas, it was not to be. Maybe I’ll bump into her at another party at some point?

  5. MrsD
    April 11, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    If she were to respond more keenly, wouldn’t you judge her mental stability anyway?!

    Sorry to laugh at your misfortune but this has really made me chuckle and brightened my Monday up no end. Every cloud and all that…

    • April 11, 2011 at 8:23 pm

      Mrs D, glad to hear I helped.

  6. April 11, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    …..and I thought you were the pro of the duo. V funny thought and I think she’s a great sport. Maybe worth having a third time lucky at a date…

    • April 11, 2011 at 8:24 pm

      Cazbatt – I think I should back off so I don’t end up on some sort of register.

  7. eyebrowsofdoom
    April 11, 2011 at 4:39 pm

    You are too fabulous for words

    • April 11, 2011 at 8:24 pm

      Eyebrows – too special perhaps.

  8. April 11, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    I sometimes felt as if my dates were something out of a sitcom… but not because of anything I’d done. At times, I wondered whether someone was intentionally messing with me. I now know that these things do happen… and completely unplanned too.

    I’m sorry to be so amused at what has happened, but you’ve restored my faith in dating just a little.

    • April 11, 2011 at 8:24 pm

      Right Little Miss Random, we need to hear stories of these dates now. What happened?

      • April 13, 2011 at 9:19 am

        I think I told you about my worst date ever the first time we met! I might blog about them. Some day. Or maybe not!

  9. meg
    April 11, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    I have been following you guys from the beginning but haven’t laughed/cringed/[papercut-noised] like that in a while… we’ve all been there.

    Also, that faux-explanation was terrible. Do that always.

    • April 11, 2011 at 8:25 pm

      Meg – I’d make such a terrible spy.

    • April 12, 2011 at 6:06 pm

      This is now a word.

  1. April 12, 2011 at 4:31 pm
  2. May 11, 2011 at 10:41 am
  3. February 14, 2013 at 2:16 pm
  4. September 21, 2013 at 9:11 am

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