Home > Adventures in Dating > Middle England being naughty

Middle England being naughty


I was invited to a party on Sunday.

It was the birthday party of someone I didn’t really know (the boyfriend of a chum) who I’d only met twice and would be bit of a slog,  it was completely on the other side of London.

She is fun but has a bit of a naughty drug habit. So it wasn’t exactly a must-see event.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to go, but with Biscuit leaping ahead in the wager I need to meet new women, fast.

I needed to be proactive.

Annoyingly I didn’t know if there would be any single types there, so I asked the lovely people on Twitter if there was a subtle way to find out if there was going to be any interesting ladies at the party.

Twitter said just ask, so I did.

The lady said yes.


I pulled on my fancy clothes, grabbed a nice bottle of champagne (Standby gift for people you don’t really know) and set off on my epic quest across London.

I know it’s a bit mercenary to ask if singles are going to be there but if I want to hang around with a load of slightly smug couples making vague conversation about the weather I can arrange that without hours of travel.

I arrived and the place was absolutely stuffed with couples. Lovely couples but couples none the less. I didn’t know anyone apart from my friend and her boyfriend, and him only just (and they were busy working the room) so I talked to strangers.

I only talked to my chum a couple of times because she was being a hostess and so ended up chatting to various couples about inconsequential things for hours. It was pleasant enough I suppose, but not really worth the Lord of the Rings style travel quest.

The weather was amazing we were right on the river and then we went back to someone’s house. The scores of couples were having a great time taking a lot of drugs and dancing to music, like proper drugs. The slightly scary ones.

It’s something I’m not really into, but the contrast between people putting stuff up their noses and tea dresses was amusing for a while. It was like a photo-shoot for an edgy magazine.

They got increasingly mashed and I felt increasingly awkward.

People off their tits on drugs aren’t that interesting.

I spent some time in the kitchen talking about dogs and cakes with someone’s mum until she decided to take a load of drugs and I ambled off home.

When did middle England become so naughty?

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