Doctors and Nurses
I have often looked after girlfriends when they are ill. I understand that no-matter the ailment, chocolates, DVD boxsets, flowers and home cooked food will help with the illness.
I have never been looked after while ill in return. Not even close.
One time I had a flu thing that made my head sing and my knees hurt and my girlfriend at the time (who I lived with) told me that the best way to get over the illness was to do some hoovering and take the bins out.
Last week I was ill. It was just man-flu but it was bad enough to make me stay at home rather than be a brave little soldier and struggle into work, coughing weakly when people walked past my desk.
I actually took some time off work but even more miraculous The Theatre Producer decided she wanted to look after me.
She appeared after work and made me* a huge curry and then sent me to bed with Lemsip.
Before I went to bed I grabbed a hot shower because I’d been feverish all day and was in a bit of a state.
I returned from my shower to find that the Theatre Producer had left, and had been replaced with a member of the NHS.
A member of the NHS from a rather racy bit of sixties judging by her uniform. This ‘Nurse’ looked a lot like the Theatre Producer, but insisted on calling me the patient.
It was excellent. I might try and get ill more often now. God bless the NHS**
*And the rest of the house
**Particularly the bit of the NHS that employs leggy brunettes who wear frankly filthy heels with their uniforms and who visit poorly chaps in their bedrooms.
Marriage percentage: 62%
(Yes we don’t normally write about this sort of stuff but The Theatre Producer said I could, just this once)