Dating science: Dating for Samurai

Toast

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun…

*ahem*

Sorry. When I was young, I used to read about Samurai. Look I was young and male, so I was genetically programmed to think that Samurai are cool.

I mean they are men, with swords who dress in an excellent way. They would stride around in good trousers, write poems and then totally chop someones head off in the name of honour. Skill.

Anyway, Samurai were feared because they didn’t care what happened in battle. They had the power of meh. Using special Samurai logic they had worked out that any fight had three possible outcomes.

1) The Samurai defeats their foe. Epic Win.
2) The Samurai gets all stabbed up to death leaving the foe to steal their hats. Epic Fail.
3) Both people in the fight get stabbed up and die, possibly covered in cherry blossom. Poetic Fail.

So most fights would end in a fail, and thus a Samurai could go into battle with the sort of casual indifference usually reserved for teenagers. I can’t remember why this made them so fearsome but it definitely did.

Dating is a bit like that. Why? Because any date has four possible outcomes.

1) You and your new chum fall passionately in love, marry and spend the rest of your lives being smug. Epic Win.
2) You really fancy your date but they aren’t into you. Unrequited fail.
3) You don’t like your date, but they love you. Stalker fail.
4) Neither of you like each other and so you both pretend the date never happened. Epic Fail.

So since your date is 75% likely to not go well, why stress about it?

Just enjoy the evening and be glad it’s not going to end in actual death. Or perhaps if you are a really lucky la petite mort.