Weddings are rum old events. People seem to make them in to a big ‘thing’ when really it’s just people you like (and relatives) in a room getting drunk.
The planning for our bash appears to be going well. There have been no fights and the ‘wedding police’ haven’t been called out once.
Here are a list of things we’re not fretting about:
- The flowers, can anyone remember the flowers from a wedding ever?
- Seating arrangements, put people next to people you think they’d like.
- Readings, find something we like, get someone we like to read it.
- Wedding speeches, keep them short, put in jokes, no being nasty.
- Food, people are mostly there to get drunk.
- Booze, Our friends aren’t demanding ‘In a glass’ is about as fussy as they get.
This means when people ask, ‘How is the wedding planning going?’ I don’t have a good answer, which sounds like I don’t care.
However there are some things I am fretting about/have fretted about:
- Are my suit trousers too tight? Or too loose?
- When I first tried my suit trousers on did I take to long so the tailor (who was out of the room) think I was up to something naughty?
- What is the correct thing to say to the tailor when you’ve finished putting on your trousers?
- If the tailor isn’t responding to your calls, is it okay to shout?
- If you are mid-shout when they quietly enter the room from a door you didn’t see is it best to apologise? Or style it out and pretend you are a bit deaf suddenly?
- If you went with the deaf option, should you shout for the rest of the fitting to stay in character?
- Also if you bump into a friend in the street, right out side the shop, should you stay shouty to not spoil the ‘story’ you’re maintaining.
- Even if it’s quite a long chat and someone else turns up?
On an unrelated note I’m a bit scared to go back to the tailors for my final fitting. I wonder if I can get someone else to pick up the suit for me, after all I have lost my voice after all that shouting.