Who is Toast?
2011 – 2011: ‘The Consultant’
Started off well, went wonky the moment Toast and her were officially an item. Would invite Toast over for booty visits and then got paranoid it was just about sex. Would deal with any issue by being grumpy and silent. Dumped Toast via text. Had nice dresses.
2010 – 2010: ‘Fez’
Started off well, but sort of fizzled out. It was dragged out a bit because we didn’t get to see each other that much so it took a while for things to break. Also she got very angry if I didn’t call her every day, and text her a dozen times, and send her emails. Made good pies.
2010 – 2010: ‘The Dressmaker’
Ill advised office affair, Toast would have liked it to be more but things didn’t work out like that. While he was on assignment she went on some dates and it never really recovered. There was a messy break-up and she still messages him slightly creepy things like ‘I saw you today’. This was when Toast realised he really did have awful taste in women.
2008 – 2010: ‘Blonde’
Lovely girl, a friend who he started seeing. They drifted apart because of his new job. Toast is still sad about this but it’s probably for the best. Sometimes being great friends isn’t enough.
2007 – 2007: ‘The Columbian”
Complicated woman to say the least. The first, and only girl Toast has ever lived with. This relationship fell to pieces when Toast’s dad died. She was not a terribly nice person and even worse she got to keep the beautiful flat Toast had got for mates rates.
2005 – 2006 ‘Rockchick’
Aspiring musican, was intense and then fell to pieces. Not really a relationship more of a fling.
– 2004 ‘misc’
A few relationships but nothing really that long or significant. Toast worked in London for a magazine and so used to go to lots of parties and events so he has been on lots and lots of dates. He tries not to think about how he is so single after having met so many girls.
Tall brunettes with striking features and a slightly fiery attitude. Toast is aware that ‘a slightly fiery attitude’ is often code for ‘total mental bitch’.